i think about it all day, every day. how to make my stomach and brain behave.
i save the words i want to say, for people who listen and don’t take it any sort of way
i think about it all week, every week. how to say sorry for nothing
it’s the same mistake that I’ve been making, since my voice started changing
(it’s the same mistake that I’ve been making since my will has started breaking)
i think about it all month, every month. how much doing what i want
will be enough? no matter what, i will fuck it up. i will fuck it up
I’ve thought about it all year, for all these years. i could live a thousand more and still have no idea
all i hope is that after everything, Everything disappears.
self offense, have a great crisis. send postcards from peace and fucking quiet
im anxious instead of excited. I’m too frustrated I’m too upset, i can’t focus
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